Leadership of Arizona Americans Elect Party Resigns En Masse, Disbands Party, and Leaves for Real World

PARADISE VALLEY, Ariz., Aug. 28 - The leadership of the Arizona Americans Elect Party today voted to disband the party, resign en masse, and leave the state to take up residence in the real world. 

"We have decided to bow to reality and get the hell out of this shithole," said former party leader Trey Young. "But as we all leave for the real world, we are leaving the party in the capable hands of Americans Elect of Arizona, and the party's 2014 candidate for governor, J.L. Mealer." 

"All of us wish Americans Elect of Arizona the best of luck," said Buffy Lehman Auchincloss, ex-first vice-chair of the defunct organization, as she boarded her private jet for her estate in Palm Beach, Florida, giving other former members of the party leadership lifts to their new homes in New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Seattle, Austin, Boston, Miami, Paris and Dubai. 

"Don't cry for us, Arizona!" said Dr. Irina Tereshkova, former treasurer of the party as she left carrying a bag filled with the party's financial records and assets. "Because we won't miss you at all!"