PARADISE VALLEY, Ariz., July 8 --
Today the Supreme Leader and Council of Guardians of Arizona's fastest-growing political party, the Arizona Americans Elect Party, passed a resolution calling on the state legislature to name cronuts as the official state pastry of Arizona.
"This sugar-rolled, cream-filled, glaze-topped doughnut-croissant hybrid has been taking America by storm," said Buffy Lehman Auchincloss, the party's first vice president. "So feverish has the craving for cronuts become that customers reportedly have been known to pull up in their cars and buy the pastries from line-waiters at a $30 markup."
"That's why cronuts represent the best of Arizona's free-market, entrepreneurial spirit," said party treasurer Dr. Irina Tereshkova. "The passion for cronuts that leads people to spend hours on line waiting for these delicious pastries is akin to the passion of the pioneer women and men who built Arizona after they stole it from the land's indigenous people and the government of Mexico."
"The Arizona Americans Elect Party calls on the legislature to name cronuts the official state pastry at the start of the next legislative session," said Trey Young, the party's leader. "We hope that even our state representative and state senators will be able to accomplish this commonsense act despite their utter lack of common sense."